i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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