How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
