i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
