I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You may now shotgun with the bride
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
