I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
