I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So squirting runs in the family.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
