I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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