I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
