either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
