what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
