You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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