It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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