we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Well I just put wine in my tea
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
