just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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