he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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