With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
