just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
