Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
