Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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