I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
