Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
