so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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