HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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