Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
