He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
