My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
