a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
