Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
