i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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