I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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