I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Quick, to the slutcave!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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