D3 body, D1 cock
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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