He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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