Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
