i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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