Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
