She is in my trunk
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
