Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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