come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Drake has all the answers
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
