and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
