is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize