A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
