i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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