So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
