after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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