I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
