i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
