Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
