"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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