why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Panties = found
Randomize
