you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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