So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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