just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Randomize
