she's into porn, im staying here tonight
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We don't watch enough power rangers
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
