Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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